Since the inception of human consciousness, psychologists and philosophers have analyzed the etymology of Self. Meanwhile, the job of attempting to explain the meaning of Love has been delegated to the poets and musicians. Yet still, contemporary society holds deeply convoluted theories of self-love: shallow selfie feeds, bubble baths, and shopping sprees with a #selflove caption. “Self-love” has become nothing more than a narcissistic buzzword containing ingredients of murky definitions and vague directions. However, despite the lack of understanding surrounding the implications of this word, when someone declares they are practicing the art of self-love, it is hounded by empty applause and meaningless validation. To adequately exercise “self-love,” one must possess a core understanding of two foundational concepts:

1. Self 

2. Love

A familiar adage states, “It’s about the journey, not the destination.” But how can we observe the road to self-discovery without headlights? Despite trendy performances, the GPS routing us to self-discovery informs us we are lost—far from the destination of understanding Love or Ourselves.

We do not understand Love because we do not know ourselves.

We do not understand ourselves because we do not know Love.

The words nosce te Ipsum (know thyself) were inscribed in the ancient Temple of Apollo in Delphi. This phrase has had infinite applications throughout history in various cultures, including the Socratic dialogues of Plato and Xenophon. This philosophy is a central pillar in Socratic dialogue and reasoning; understanding oneself—one’s ignorance, desires, and motivations—is the essence of pursuing a life of truth and virtue.

Socrates proposes a subtle yet consequential twist in the interpretation: he replaces “know thyself” with “see thyself.” This refers to the capability to examine one’s soul introspectively and objectively by studying the state of one’s inner moral and intellectual condition. His beliefs about the soul were strictly dualist, believing the soul and body were distinctly separate- the soul eternal and the body temporary. While Socrates’s systematic theology is unclear, he does acknowledge the significance of the role of the Divine. He refers to his Daimonion, his inner divine voice guiding his thoughts and decisions. While not exactly the same, this sentiment is similar to the Christian belief that the Holy Spirit resides in the souls of believers, directing and providing a moral conscience.

Either way, regardless of your religious ideologies, it is crucial to acknowledge and, at the very least, tip your hat to the role that the belief in the Divine has played throughout history and philosophy.  

The quest to comprehend the Self is capitulating that the soul is the guiding force for the essence of the Self. Man’s ability to understand the Divine is discovered in the components of one’s very soul, specifically, the region of the soul that “resembles the Divine,” as Socrates asserts. When one understands God, one begins to understand the Self, and the more intimately one grasps the Self, the more one can conceptualize God. 

While I still believe that poets and musicians are best suited to explaining love, philosophers can provide some insight. However, no widely accepted definition of love or self-love is found in philosophy or psychology textbooks. It has been consistently debated whether self-love is intrinsically selfish or essential. However, if we have contented ourselves with the fact that the Self is inexplicably linked to the soul, the inquiry is now: What is soul love?

Aristotle in Nicomachean Ethics, assembles a clear distinction between a lover of Self and self-love. A man who is a lover of Self is “…when they assign to themselves the larger share of money, honors, or bodily pleasures…” This concept correlates directly with Socrates’ dualistic approach, which states that the needs of the soul and body are distant. He later proposes that self-love is not selfish but vital for pursuing a life of goodness. He defines self-love as discovering what is virtuous for one’s soul for the sake of the common good.

This starkly contrasts our current egocentric trends, which manipulate us into settling for a counterfeit version of the sacred self-love ritual. Winston Churchill wrote in Orthodoxy that Love is not blind, but instead Love is bound. Soul love is not an inflated view of ourselves- but rather an accurate one. The union of Self and Love is the proper cultivation and objective view of one’s soul; it is a spiritual comprehension of the reality and needs of our soul and its relationship with the Divine. 

The mirror we hold up to our Soul should reflect both the chasm of our own wickedness and the depth of our commitment to redemption by the Divine—only then can we begin to practice self-love.